Bilsington Cricket Club

Sorry for the delay this week i had a spot of car trouble. Anyway Janet still leads the way followed by Paul Webb, Kirsty Miles is 3rd and Colin Bingham has broken the Miles monopoly currently 4th. Here is the latest table.

Hit 46 3291
The League Virgin 3203
Hawkeye 3127
45 on 1 3080
Dreamers 3001
Heather's Hero's 2988
Frithys Fillies 2947
The Royals 2895
The Morris Men 2789
Top Cats 2767
Stumped for a Name 2753
Arrogant Tossers 2752
Stumper & Googlie 2742
The Mighty Quacks 2727
Leaning 11 2703
If Only Sean Was in this Team 2697
Two Wicked Maidens 2642
Sarahs Team 2641
Figjam 2609
Bobby Key's Barmy Army 2603
The Rare Breeders 2562
Super 6's Reserves 2559
Wills Farm Warriors 2502
Pullits Plonkers 2491
MM's Men 2475
Milsteds XI 2387
The True Blades 2336
Croft's Crusaders 2330
The Chosen Ones 2317
The Guiness XI  2299
Super 6's 2288
Craggs Absinthe Wonders 2283
Young Lions 2271
In the Mix  2265
Bingo Jnr's AllStars 2176
Well May Be 2157
Generic Cricketers 01 2106
Monument Hitters 2064
Trevs Titan 1879
Pussies 1803
Trevs Runners Up 1746
The Oddballs 1568
Kirsty's Killers 1412
100-1 1210

After the goings on of the last few weeks the Suday League side could not of had a more difficult fixture. With the Bilsington 3 facing the last game of their "voluntary" suspension Sean skippered the side on a hot and sultry afterrnoon. He did manage to do what Ed rarely does he won the toss and on what looked like a good track decided to bat. We got off to a slow start with Colin going early but Trev and Paul Webb batted well and after consolidating for a few overs began to get the scoreboard ticking over. Trev made 16 and paul 26. Sean and Paul Frith also added useful runs with Sean making 18 and Paul Frith 28. But after that there was a mini collapse and only some fine hitting from Danny Samson, 28 not out got us up to a fairly decent score of 151.
We knew we had to bowl well and Paul Webb picked up a caught and bowled in the first over. However the Sheldwich batsmen always looked in control and despite never really getting above 4 an over they made steady progress. Bilsington did miss a couple of chances in the field when difficult catches went down but we just could not get the break throughs we needed. Phil scored a direct hit Run Out , Danny picked up a wicket and Paul Webb got another. Tom behind the stumps for the first time in a while took a smart catch off Paul Frith to pick up Sheldwich top scorer David Prior. Matt O'Driscoll did manage to pull a muscle whilst we were fielding allowing Graham Samson to substitute and the ball promptly followed Graham where ever he was put.
After 2 defeats we now sit 8th in Division 4, not the position we wanted but saying that we are only 7 points behind 2nd place. With all players rightly available for our next league game lets hope things pick up and we can get back to winning ways.

Bilsington won the toss and decided to bat first. And it looked like a bad decision as Bilsington lost 3 wickets within 10 overs. Birthday boy Trev and Matt were bowled, and Sean was LBW after offering no shot to a straight ball.

Jon Jaros was still in form from his innings at Great Chart and quickly scored 43 with eight 4’s. Bilsington were losing wickets at a regular rate and it look likely that Bilsington were going to get a total under 100, until Andy, batting at number 9 became the second person in the innings to get to double figures . Andy batted well and got his highest score in his Bilsington career, hitting six 4’s and one 6, making everyone forget his earlier form this season. Andy was the last one out for 40 and Bilsington ended up with 124 all out. Too many batsmen were playing reckless shots and gave away their wickets on a good batting pitch. Although Saltwood bowlers did bowl well with some good fielding.

Bilsington opened the bowling with mike and....Trev??? But Trev bowled well on a slow pitch with good line and length ending up with 9-3-23-1. But Bilsington could only get two wickets (Matt getting the other wicket) as the batsman took their time with A.Rice getting 39 (and got 3 wickets earlier).

Although Bilsington lost, there was some good batting from Jon and Andy and some good bowling from Trev and Luke. No win in 5 matches, hopefully next game against Kennington 2nd XI will give us a win.


Trev

As the weekend passed without a Game for both the Saturday and Sunday sides the fantasy scores remain the same. What a boring weekend eh..... not sure the wifes will agree haha

Bilsington started their match against Great Chart without two of their players (Trev and Andy) as they thought it was a 2:30pm start!

So Mike won the toss and decided to bat. Mike and Jon opened the batting (as Trev didn’t arrive!!), and continue what he did last week (batted like his hero again!!) and got off the mark on his 20th ball (don’t rush Mike!!).

Jon on the other hand needed runs and got off to a great start and was scoring quickly. Speed devil Mike (in more than one sense!) got run out after scoring 8 off 26 balls ( Strike rate of 31!!), but made a good start with Jon in a stand of 37 (Jon got 25 of the runs).

Adam and Alan scored runs with Jon, both got to double figures and hit some great boundaries. Jon was scoring super fast and got to his half century in 43 balls (it would have taken Mike about 155 balls to reach his!! If he was still in!). Jon was finally caught out for 62 (off 69 balls), hitting 12 4’s in the process.

Danny and Dave (who was batting for the first time this season), hit some attacking shots and both got caught on the boundary. Andy hit the first and only six of the Bilsington innings, but ended up getting bowled as did Colin. Matt and Luke ended the innings with a partnership of 20 which saw some great shots from Luke. Before you ask question about Trev, he was batting at no 11 as a punishment for being late.

A total of 198-8 was great but the pitch was clearly a batting pitch and wickets would not be easy to get. But on the first ball of the innings Alan removed the opener, caught behind. The batsman clearly thought he didn’t hit it but when our Jacko gave him out, he was not happy and gave poor Jacko the evil eye, and then walked off. Getting out first ball is never nice but batsman (and bowlers) must always respect the umpire’s decision.

Alan took another wicket in his 3rd over, finding some extra bounce to make the remaining opener play a late cut to first slip where Jon took a neat catch. Great chart’s number 3 and 4 batsmen put on a 58 partnership stand, which was broken by running out the number 4 batsman by a direct hit by Andy’s golden throwing arm.

Trev yorked the next batsman but was struggling against S.Young . Poor Mike was hit for 18 off his only over (don’t worry Mike you can work on your batting!!) Great Chart were on 148-4 and needed 51 from next 7-8 overs. But Alan returned to remove him for a superb 91 with 13 4’s and 2 6’s. Bilsington took 3 more wickets in the next 2 overs to turn the table back to Bilsington. But Alan and Danny could not claim the remaining wickets and Great Chart ended with 176-8. Alan ended the match with 5 wickets. His first in his Bilsington career. Good team effort from Bilsington.

Note to Mike, I bear no grudge to you for making me bat at no 11!!

Trev Nicholas Reporting

Well into the second month of the season the Fantasy League is still dominated by the Miles family. The weekend saw some new players scoring the most points. John Jaros scored a well made half century on Saturday, 62 off 69 balls and for those who know John (and have bowled at him as i have many times) thats very quick scoring for him, how many of those 4's were on the leg side John? Alan Morris took his first 5 wicket haul for the club so congratulations to him well bowled Alan, Robin also took 5 wickets on Sunday, his first 5 wicket haul in a league match since 2003. For the first weekend in ages Trev failed to score loads of points but im sure he is keen for others to get runs to improve his Fantasy Teams positions.

Here is the latest league.

Hit 46 3042
The League Virgin 2963
Hawkeye 2828
Dreamers 2756
45 on 1 2752
Heather's Hero's 2734
Frithys Fillies 2699
The Royals 2694
The Morris Men 2589
Stumper & Googlie 2583
Stumped for a Name 2553
Top Cats 2553
Arrogant Tossers 2516
The Mighty Quacks 2514
If Only Sean Was in this Team 2481
Leaning 11 2475
Sarahs Team 2470
Figjam 2469
Super 6's Reserves 2398
Two Wicked Maidens 2384
Bobby Key's Barmy Army 2377
The Rare Breeders 2357
Wills Farm Warriors 2308
MM's Men 2308
Pullits Plonkers 2254
The Chosen Ones 2222
Milsteds XI 2190
The True Blades 2151
Croft's Crusaders 2137
Young Lions 2114
Craggs Absinthe Wonders 2114
The Guiness XI 2083
Well May Be 2065
Super 6's 2054
Bingo Jnr's AllStars 2027
In the Mix  2017
Generic Cricketers 01 1966
Monument Hitters 1944
Trevs Titan 1733
Pussies 1668
Trevs Runners Up 1581
The Oddballs 1476
Kirsty's Killers 1258
100-1 1138

In line with recent events i shall refrain from expressing opinions in this match report and deal only with the facts.

We Lost

A.Player Reporting.

Well im sure the world is dying to hear my response to the recent article where arrogant tosser lived up to his name. Firstly we played a poor team that bowled 4 maybe 5 good balls in the game and i was unlucky enough to get one of them. arrogant tosser was too busy hiding the match ball in the garden accross the road to give the african elephant time to recover from an over of hard run singles (more on Colin later) to notice how unlucky i was.
If we are going to win the league this year we require batsman to step up when required. the leeds game we were 30 odd for 3 and on the verge of a legendary bilsington collapse when myself and paul webb steered us towards victory. how short memories some tossers have. i was first to congratualte my enemy colin (more on him later) on his runs on sunday and i couldnt be happier that he has finally hit the ball in front of square this season.

My only thought that this unprovocked attack is because the binghams failed to fall out with one of the opposition on sunday so needed a team mate to pick on. i know colin (more on him later) will still be in bed recovering from batting for 10 overs to have had any influence on this article. that just leaves arrogant tosser...............need i say more

Some might question is there a rift amongst the mighty sunday team?! (im sure the saturday team who have always been welcoming and grateful for my early season runs are laughing at this) and i must say i questionned it for a few seconds but please dont worry. i see it more as this team has got fantastic personalities that enjoy this type of banter. i for one would like to say its a pleasure to play amongst MOST of you and im sure we all dream of promotion this season.

We may have lost points to wye (not sure if you remember that arrogant tosser as you never seem to go on about it?!) but surely we should get extra points for utilising bilsingtons village idiot who comes on to clean up the tail with long hops, full tosses and writing the match reports.

and finally colin dont hide behind your big brother this is a battle between me and you and one i intend on winning. well done for getting 40 on sunday, we will face stiffer bowlers this season and i hope i get a chance to bat with you.

see you sunday boys and graham if selected (subject to disciplinary issues)

Editors Note. I am sure these 2 articles have provided much amusement all round (as they were intended too) however that is it any further comments can be given on the field of play come Sunday.

After Bilsington’s defeat to Sandhurst, they needed a win to get back on track.

Bilsington won the toss and decided to bowl first

Due to lack of bowlers, Jon Jaros had to give up the gloves and Dave Nice had to come out of his ‘Wicketkeeper’ retirement and take up the gloves (worried looks all round)

Danny and Alan started well with three maidens in a row and removed two batsmen but Challock recover and at the half way stage they were 95-2 and a score of 200 looked to be on the cards.

But Andy removed the danger batsman P.Welch for 51 and Jon at the other end was bowling tight and got figures of 8-1-8-2.

Jon would have got more wickets if it wasn’t for a dropped catch from the vice-captain (a ‘dolly’ in Dave Nice’s view) and a missed stumping from the wicketkeeper (A stumping that slip could have taken in Trev’s view)

Mike and Luke bowled the remaining overs as Challocks got 145-7 (but were taken up to 157-7 as Greg messed up the scoring).

Bilsington’s batting was a little on the weak side so they needed to keep their wickets if they were going to go for a win. But lost two wickets in the 6th over and another in the 12th over put Bilsington at 23-3.

Mike came in and decided to bat like his hero, but unfortunately that hero was Chris Tavare and to make matters worse Trev decided to bat like his hero who was G.Boycott.

After 19 overs of forward defence shots and leave alone, Bilsington were 44-3 in the 28th over. So Mike and Trev decided to attack the bowling but after playing too many defending shots they both forgot how to play attacking shots and got out to poorly played shots.

This brought Danny and Colin to the crease and Danny decided to bat like his hero and luckily that was Chris Gayle. In the last 10 overs, Bilsington put on 78 runs with Danny hitting 69 not out with five 6’s and hitting two cars (the bill is in the post, Danny) and gaining a fan club in the crowd. The star bowler for Challock was D.Carroll with 13-9-6-3.

Bilsington ended with 134-5, 24 runs short of the target and the game ended in a draw.

After three home games in a row, Bilsington are playing away next Saturday to the mighty Great Chart.

Trev reporting


No photos yet, sorry lads.

Trev

Our second League outing saw an unchanged side rock up at home to Blue House. Overnight rain had greened up the track and again the decision to bat or bowl was a tricky one. Credit goes to Mick, Ian and the guys who work on the ground for producing an excellent playing surface and an outfield looking its best. As per normal Ed lost the toss and we were batting.

Colin and run machine Trev opened and for the second week running and got off to a flyer. Colin driving hard and straight with Trev playing those impressive on drives and flicks to leg that are his forte. Colin rolled back the years and undertook several lightning quick(ish) singles and even the odd two. Feeling the pace Colin resorted to a stand and deliver approach which often resulted in him swinging, missing and finishing off with the mating call of an African elephant. Not a sound often heard in this neck of the woods. With 86 on the board and having reached 40 he perished fighting for the cause. Steve went in and seamlessly picked up where Colin left off whilst Trev reached his fifth 50 of the season. Trevs batting this season has been a revelation and long may it continue ~ the magic 100 can`t be far away.

Steve went for an effortless 29 to be replaced by that malingering git Sean but not for long. Trev was bowled for 63 which brought Paul (Webb) and Phil together at the score of 153 with around 15 overs still to bat. Phil clubbed a boundary and was then caught behind. Arrogant Tosser went in and produced half an hour of ugly leg side slogarama for 25. Half a dozen overs remained when Paul was joined by WICKETS at 188-6. It was now all out attack and Webby played some trademark lofted drives to reach 30 when he too was bowled. When the score reached 200 we all applauded the batsmen, all that is except Ed who sportingly opened up with a loud “Well Bowled !!” to no-one in particular. Robin was unlucky when he was out to the second best catch of the day at long on. Ian and Ed safely saw off the last few balls and we arrived at the impressive score of 232-9.

An excellent tea* ( Kate ~ awesome pineapple cake) was interrupted by a worrying rain shower but happily it soon blew over. This made an already difficult task for the opposition an almost impossible one. Batting conditions were now very different from those we all enjoyed earlier on. (All except Sean who was sheeite).

Ian and Phil opened the bowling. Well Ian was bowling, what Phil was up to is hard to say. Very nearly as bad an over as my effort at Leeds. The batsmen had to attack from the start and we picked up the first wicket with a run out (which had nothing to do with Sean who would have cocked it up).

Paul replaced Phil whose one over spell ended when umpire Barry complained of RSI signalling wides. A brief period of some decent hitting mixed with edges through the field took the score to 44-1 off 9 overs. Ian persevered and got through with a straight ball and Robin took the third best catch of the day at gulley off Paul to remove the only two batsmen who really threatened to get going.

Paul then bowled three batsmen with fast well pitched up deliveries and Trev took a stunning catch at mid on off Ian. The best catch of the day and one of the best catches you`ll ever see. Fortunately it went to Trev not Sean who wouldn`t have laid a finger on it.

Colins pie cupboard took a good catch at slip to complete Paul`s 5 wicket haul and earn Paul a deserved share of the MOM award alongside Trev for his 63 and catch of the season. (Sean turned up at the awards ceremony to watch). Phil returned to the attack and carried on where he left off earlier with Barry spending most of the over impersonating the Angel of the North. Robin then finished off the innings when he bowled the last man and very nearly decapitated WICKETS when the ball ricocheted off the stumps and twatted him on the head.

Blue House all out for 81 and a thumping win by 151 runs. The top order Colin, Trev and Steve (No,not you Sean) built the perfect platform for the rest of us to get stuck in. Webby was excellent with both bat and ball. Ian and Robin both picked up 2 wickets each. A near perfect reprise of the famous Hawkinge victory and Bilsington up to third in the table or joint top in the correct version. An efficient team effort apart from Sean who is an ocean-going, weapons-grade spacktoid.

* Phil ~ Nice work with the pasta.

Arrogant Tosser Reporting.
In the interest of fairness Sean you are welcome to e-mail me a response.

The latest weekend of games threw up more points for those teams with Trev as captain. He scored points both days with a very well made 50 on Sunday. Danny also scored well this weekend as he made a quick fire 69 on Saturday. Paul Webb also scored well taking 5 wickets and Colin made his highest score of the season. The top of the leader board is dominated by the Miles family and relations. With Janet still at the top, increasing her lead over Paul Webb. Kirsty Miles is 3rd and Mick Miles is 4th.



Hit 46 2772
The League Virgin 2690
Hawkeye 2552
Dreamers 2502
45 on 1 2496
The Royals 2494
Heather's Hero's 2470
Stumper & Googlie 2423
Frithys Fillies 2414
Stumped for a Name 2409
The Morris Men 2351
Figjam 2327
Arrogant Tossers 2326
Top Cats 2296
The Mighty Quacks 2295
Leaning 11 2250
The Rare Breeders 2223
If Only Sean Was in this Team 2213
Sarahs Team 2196
Bobby Key's Barmy Army 2190
Super 6's Reserves 2158
Wills Farm Warriors 2126
Two Wicked Maidens 2118
The Chosen Ones 2067
MM's Men 2026
Pullits Plonkers 1989
Young Lions 1948
The True Blades 1933
Croft's Crusaders 1926
Craggs Absinthe Wonders 1917
Bingo Jnr's AllStars 1881
Milsteds XI 1874
Well May Be 1859
The Guiness XI 1838
Super 6's 1772
In the Mix  1768
Generic Cricketers 01 1748
Monument Hitters 1688
Trevs Titan 1584
Pussies 1501
Trevs Runners Up 1319
The Oddballs 1306
Kirsty's Killers 1095
100-1 1020

After some last minutes changes Bilsington had another full Saturday team ready to play on another hot day.
Trev was the captain again as Mike could not played. Trev won the toss and decided to put Sandhurst in because of the strength of their batting and bowling from last year (they beat Bilsington by nine wickets last year.)
Alan and Ian opened the bowling and started well, claiming an early wicket thank to Andy holding an edge off Ian.
The danger batsman (Al.Wenman) came in and was dropped when on 0, to make matter worse the other batsman was also dropped early in his innings
Trev continued to let Alan and Ian bowled for 10 overs each but with no luck. The batsman started to played their shots, hitting the ball to all parts of the ground. Both Batsman got 50 and a total score of 220 was on the card.
But then Bilsington got a bit of luck, running out the opener with a great throw from Andy and their danger batsman got out by gifting Trev a straight forward catch (ok, it was a diving one-handed catch but i don't like to sound like a big-head!!)
But the No 4 Batsman was just as good as the danger batsman (i found out later that they were brothers!) and hit a HUGE six into the farm yard.
Sandhurst got 182-3 in the end a score that was gettable on that pitch.
Big thank to the miles girls and grandmother for getting tea ready for the teams.
Jon and Trev opened the innings and the No 4 batsman was also the opening bowler and was the fastest the Saturday faced so far this season and soon got the wicket of Jon.
But Sean and Trev had been the two in form batsman for the Saturday team (along with Danny), and set Bilsington along their way.
But then lost Trev along the way for 24 and Sean soon after for 39.
Bilsington's Batsman didn't give up hope of a draw (or even a win!). Some good batting from D.Beeching, C.Martin and Alan, pushed Bilsington to 142 before losing the last two wickets in 2 balls. Five overs from a draw.
Bilsington may have lost but the Saturday batting was a big improvement from Dymchurch match.

Trev reporting

Alan Fends off the Sandhurst Bowlers. (Nice shorts Danny)